


Chasing Mirages

by Karls_idols



Category: Idoli
Genre: Blood, Divorce, Forming of a mental illness, Mental Breakdown, Other, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 16:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20428916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karls_idols/pseuds/Karls_idols
Summary: I had a bad day and took it out on Ryuu IM SORRY. Also might not be accurate because I don't know much about his family situation.Also HUGE TRIGGER WARNING.





	Chasing Mirages

**Author's Note:**

> If you are feeling ways like this, please contact phone numbers, websites that you find online and talk, if you don't want to talk to your friends or family. Also, come find me on Instagram and Twitter if you do want some emotional support, I'll be there. @karls_idols

The blade sliced through his skin, tearing it like paper. The blood trickled out, just like tap water, slowly, slowly, until it all came out at once.

Ryunosuke sat in his bathtub. It would no longer be his bathtub, stained a light pink at the bottom from all of his previous attempts. 

Soon he would move from his father's house, the house he called a true home, and into this fancy place with a stupid man and his stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Livelihood.

Livid, that his mother chose another man over the sweetest, kindest man on earth; his father.

He just wanted to be hugged in those safe, warm, friendly arms he called his father's. But he couldn't, because a whole town away, he would live. 

A half hour train ride, a months worth of chores that he could've been spending on sports, like any other boy his age, but instead were being spent to see his father, because his mother sure as hell wouldn't pay for that.

Ryuu felt dead inside. Numb. He wanted everything to stay the same. Have the same little Christmas parties, the same boat trips, the same soccer games in the backyard.

Now, Ryunosuke wasn't bad with change. It was just the type of change. It wasn't fair.

If he wasn't so shy, or caring, he would've begged to stay with his father. Tantrumed and cried. But that was selfish, because his father could barely afford to care for himself due to debts.

He was told over and over and over, "bla bla it'll be okay, bla bla, you'll love your new school, bla bla bla B L A" but it was just so stupid that it didn't even matter.

Body feeling like lead, he heaved himself up and out of the water. He covered his arm with a bandage, and planned to claim it was from school rugby again.

His legs were fine, they could easily be hidden. He'd just have to wear longer swim shorts in the mornings.

When he was cleaned up, he headed downstairs, and kept the blade in his pocket, for use throughout the day.

Ryuu's father was sat at the breakfast table, talking to his brothers.

"It'll be fine, I'll come and visit whenever I can."

'Not for awhile then' Ryuu thought, reflecting on the many debts for the boat.

"Boys! Let's go!" His mother voice yelled from outside.

His brothers said a quick "Bye" and left. They weren't that close to their father, so it didn't kill them as much.

But Ryuu was 14! At the peak of when life feels like shit anyway! It would've been nicer if they did this beforehand.

Ryunosuke looked at his feet. He didn't want to show his father that he was upset. It would only hurt him more.

"Come here..." His dad's soft voice called. Like a guardian angel, he pulled Ryuu close, and he sobbed into his shoulder.

"Ryuu!!" His mother yelled.

"She's not a bad person, Ryuu. You'll understand when you're older. Take care of her, and your brothers. I'll be waiting for the day I see you on tv, Okay?"

Ryuu sniffled and nodded, finding breathing difficult. His father wiped Ryuu's snotty nose with his shirt, just like Ryuu was a child again, and everything was okay.

But it wasn't. And neither of them could hide that.

And it never would be.

Not for a few years, at least.


End file.
